Health & Fitness

30 People Explain Why They Said No To A Marriage Proposal

With spring pouring blossoms and warmth on us more and more with each coming day, it’s not surprising that many lovers could be found sitting at parks, watching birds building their nests. Love is in the air and as cliche as the saying sounds, it does bear some truth to it. New couples show up like mushrooms after good rain while old ones are reminded of their love once more. And although young love is perhaps the sweetest, many people believe that true love can only be secured with a marriage proposal. While some might argue about that prospect, others share their firsthand experiences with proposals.

One Reddit user zp1995 recently asked people who declined a proposal why they did that. And within the next 24 hours, replies flowed non-stop with some acquiring as many as 31k likes. From simply sad to somewhat bizarre, people shared many stories where a marriage proposal was the main focus. So, scroll down to read some of the best ones and don’t forget to comment and vote for your favorites! 


My mom had been dating a guy for a few weeks after his wife had just died from cancer his daughter was at college and he was paying for her education/boarding/food. I had just turned 18 and started paying my mom rent money , he proposed but said that I needed to move out because he didnt like me and thought that I was a free loader. my mom told him that she loved me more than him and that he could shove his dead wife’s ring up his ass and left him.


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I proposed to my boyfriend of three years. He told me he loved me but just wasnt ready because his parents had a really bad marriage and frankly, he didnt know if he could ever get married.

I cried my eyes out and he held me but he was (gently) adamant. I accepted after a while that we wouldn’t get married and to be happy that we were together and loved each other.

Two years later he proposed to me.

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Married 12 years so far!


He literally only proposed because i caught him cheating. He thought i would say “yes! Omg of course! I forgive you! Please, continue to cheat on me after we both sign a legally binding contract!” Dude was dumb.


I was in my first few years of teaching and one of my nine year old students brought his sister’s play ring to school, got down on one knee when the class was on the field, and he proposed to me. It was very sweet. I declined saying that he was a little young for me.


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I’m on the opposite side of this story, but it’s still a good one. This was years ago. My girlfriend and I were at a friend’s wedding, and I got caught up in the romanticism of it and wound up blurting out a proposal at the reception. She said no, and explained that this wasn’t the memory of a proposal that she wanted. It felt tacky to tie this important moment to someone else’s special day, and she told me to ask her again later, in a different setting. Literally five minutes later, they announced that the bride was going to throw the bouquet. All the girls lined up, it went into the air, and sailed straight into my girlfriends arms. She laughed, turned to me, and said, “That moment is pretty good. Okay, I guess we’re engaged.”


We were on the verge of a breakup when he asked. We’d been having problems for a few years. His idiot friend told him it was a good idea to propose and that it would make everything magically better. I told him no, we broke up and I moved away for a while.

As they say, absence makes the heart grow was true in our case. We were able to work things out. I moved back and 2 years later, we got married. We’ve been together for 24 years, have 2 daughters and 1 grandchild!


A coworker of mine, happily married for a good long while, told me that the only man she dated before her husband was obsessed with her, and pursued her even after she broke up with him and had proposed multiple times before and after they broke up. He just had this unhealthy obsession with her for some reason. The last time he proposed to her was the day before her wedding to her husband. She of course turned him down, and he finally moved on and married a different girl.
I told her jokingly that he sounded unhinged and she really dodged a bullet there. She went quiet for a moment and then said, “Well, he killed the woman he DID end up marrying.”


My mother was engaged to a man while she was in college. The wedding plans were well underway and as the wedding got closer, her fiancé started acting super clingy and possessive. She called it off a few months before getting married. He has lived locally their whole lives so she’s run into him a few times. Apparently he’s the super jealous type who doesn’t let his wives have male friends and he has been married three times. My mom definitely dodged a bullet.


He was that weird stoner patron that came in just to talk to me even though I wasn’t interested. He told me he was the heir to the commonwealth and should be king after Elizabeth dies, because he had the 3 out of the emblems of the United Kingdom, and once he got the 4th it would secure his position. He would also make airplane noises when I had my attention turned to other tasks. That’s a no Jason.


My abusive girlfriend tried to get me to marry her. Then, she beat me with a chair for slightly overcooking the Thanksgiving turkey. Yeah, turns out that beating somebody so bad that you break their arm is a good way to get your proposal turned down.


My now wife asked me to marry her. I told her I needed to think about it and eventually told her no. I thought I would had held her back. my store was closing down and 2 months before that happened, I turned down a different offer to stay. so, I knew I was gonna be without work for some time. She didn’t take it well and we didn’t speak for a couple years. Eventually though our paths crossed again and we both missed each other tons. One night she tells me “so molecule, you make up your mind yet?” i instantly broke down laughing and 2 weeks later we were married.


Well, he proposed as I was breaking up with him, which was awkward and for some reason he thought it would make me change my mind.

Also he had threatened to kill my family the day before (hence the breakup) so there’s that.


Because she was like 30 years younger than I was, and I already married her mother, who gave birth to her 5 years ago.

I love her 3000 so there’s that.


Proposed to my college girlfriend when I was 20 and she was 21. We had been dating for a year and she got pregnant. I thought we were in love because everything was great and I genuinely loved her. I had a great job and so I proposed because I wanted to marry her and start a family. She then broke down and started crying, she told me she had been sleeping with her ex boyfriend for the past month. She then said that she didn’t know who the baby belonged to so went and got an abortion without consulting me or him. She got back together with him and I spiraled into alcoholism for the next few years.

Im about to turn 30 now, went back to college 2 years ago and no longer use drugs or alcohol (besides weed sometimes). I’m starting life over again at 30 after all that, and having to take care of my grandfather who had a stroke.


My husband proposed one month into dating. I declined because, you know, one month.

A year later we moved in together and he proposed and I declined because I wasn’t ready.

Almost three years later and two more declined proposals I said yes on the 4th time. I finally felt ready.

We have been married 11 years. In retrospect, his instincts were probably better than mine 🙂


It was our first date. He showed up drunk and called me somebody else’s name


He told me he wouldn’t say that he loved me until we were married. Big red commitment flag


I was fresh out of high school and dating a guy in the military that I went to school with. We had been dating about three months when he proposed. He was nice, and I could have seen a future with him but three months was just too soon for me, even though we had been friends for quite some time. I told him I wasn’t ready and he never spoke to me again.


Gorgeous 19 year old girl I worked with. We had been a little flirtatious with each other but were just close work friends. I was under 25 (m)

She got knocked up by a guy she wasn’t dating seriously. She was opposed to abortion so was planning to keep the baby but wanted to end it with that guy

She took me aside and slowly and seriously proposed marriage with me. Her rationale being that we loved each other even though we were just friends and that I would be a wonderful father, so we should give it a shot.

She was sincere, but seeing as her proposal was insane (though oddly tempting) I said no

She married the father of her child shortly after. They’re still married, going on 20 years now. Only one child

So I suppose I said no because I was a young man and that wasn’t my child. I do wonder what would have happened if I’d said yes… but that would have been insane… right?


Got asked in college by a close female friend. We weren’t dating, I hadn’t ever felt an attraction to her, and I knew she just wanted a husband more than she wanted me, the actual person. 100% yikes


I was 29 and had been with my boyfriend four years when he “proposed.” I put scare quotes around it because he didn’t actually say anything – he just got down on a knee and showed me a ring. Every time we had talked about marriage, I told him I wasn’t ready. Our relationship was solid, but I felt sort of listless in it and like we never really fully connected, or had real talks of any depth. I always felt like it was me talking and him listening but not giving much back. We never ever fought. The proposal felt like a microcosm of that dynamic: instead of having a real talk about what he wanted, which would have been hard, he just bought a ring (a diamond, btw, which I told him I didn’t want but he didn’t believe me) to try to sidestep dealing with any difficult feelings or conflicts.

We stayed together after that, though – I felt so confused, he seemed so devoted, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. A year and a half later, I found out he had been pursuing other women through much of our relationship, including my best friend, who he was infatuated with (she did not realize), and was having an emotional affair with a woman at his work. He acted like a complete crazy person after this all came to light, and all the resentments he had secretly buried came up (culminating in a letter to my parents where he essentially blamed me for his cheating, based on offenses like my doing my laundry separate from his and not accepting his money/liking to keep our finances separate). I felt validated about the vague unease I had had for so many years and was glad I listened to that intuition that there was something not right, though I wish I had sooner.

About a month later, I met my now-husband, and we married a year and a half later – I never hesitated with his proposal, even though it was only a few months in. It’s been three years now and I am so happy with him – we’re expecting our first child in November!


He was very bold about it, calling it out loudly in public so others would hear him. I felt the weight if people staring at us, and it was too much. I said no.

I mean, some people are into the homeless look, but 17 year old me just wasn’t ready to make a cardboard home with the first hobo on the street who hollered at me. I had to find myself first.

Joking aside, I was visiting my cousins in Cali and a homeless man with a huge scruffy beard, Hagrid style, asked me to marry him at the top of his lungs. I froze, shook my head, and then hurried along. He yelled after me that I was missing out.

Maybe I was, old man. Maybe I was.


He asked me, on condition that I changed myself into something that he wants, so he can fulfill his dreams. All this while ignoring all my dreams. So… I chose to go forward alone


I met him at an art opening, he flew back to his home state a couple days later. We spent a month talking on the phone every day, and he asked me to come with him to Italy while he produced some paintings for a patrons new villa. I started getting everything together to renew my passport and prepare for the trip. He told me he was going to propose to me in Italy. I told him this was too much for me and I wasn’t feeling like we were on the same level in the relationship. He lost his shit, called me 50 times through the night, but after the first time I didn’t answer anymore. A few years later I found out he had gone to prison- statutory rape of one of his art students.


I was going through post-partum depression and I had no support system to speak of. I was a teenager and my mom just kept repeatingly telling me to give my son up for adoption because no one would ever want me and you’re nothing without a man. That being said, there was one meathead jock who had been asking me out for years that I always turned down because we had nothing in common. We had never even had a conversation before yet he would religiously ask me out for almost every dance and Valentine’s. Well that Valentine’s when he asked me out again, I just gave up and said yes. We dated for a year, the whole time him telling me he had always admired me from afar, loved my creativity and individuality; but also telling me to stop dying my hair and grow it out, to get manicures and wear make-up, to lose weight and wear designer clothing.

After a year, he proposed. We were 19 and he said he was ready to start a family with me. That we would perfect and our kids would be perfect. It was like I snapped out of a fog. I realized that if I married him I would be unhappy for the rest of my life. So we broke up. A year later I met the man that I did eventually marry.


He was pissed as a newt and we had only been dating a year. 10 years later he did it properly. We’ve been married 6 years.


I thought my ex had anger management issues, and I didn’t get along with his mother. He was too attached to her. He later became a violent alcoholic—years after we broke up. He also stole quite a bit of money from me to give to his mother for bills… I was not aware of this until months after the fact. I feel like I dodged a huge bullet there.


I was scared and “selfish”.

As a veteran, they were suffering from severe PTSD, had already attempted suicide, and were using drugs to self medicate. As much as I loved and adored him (and still do), I knew there were things I wanted for myself and it wouldn’t be possible if I had to be the caretaker all the time. If I had said yes, I would be a widow now.

I know I did the right thing for me but I don’t feel like I did right by them. I wish I could have been stronger.


When he asked, my future flashed in front of me and I hated it. He was a good guy and I did love him, but we wanted different things. We had been together for many years but the proposal was still a surprise. I think he proposed to try and save a sinking relationship.


I was getting ready to move to Japan. We weren’t even dating and I had been upfront that I only thought of him as a friend. He spent our junior and senior years of university trashing me because that’s the mature thing to do when people are honest, right?

Out of the blue, he texts me a proposal. Says I need a strong man to protect me (so much lol- 1. It’s Japan 2. He was your standard neckbeard).

I just texted back a simple “no” and didn’t hear from him again for years.

I come to hometown for my sister’s wedding. He texts out of the blue asking if I need a date. I had a boyfriend at the time. “Sorry, no.”

I get married a few years later. He starts whining about never getting a girlfriend and getting sympathy. I want to believe it was a coincidence, but he raged about stupid bitches when I got pregnant. So, who knows?

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